I have NO friends!!

Relax with your friends in The Den.... :satan:
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Christopher
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I have NO friends!!

Postby Christopher » 29 Dec 2010, 10:06

I had the best friends this whole year and the last couple months they've all withered away. One moved to germany, one turned into a lesbian and fell in love with a girl who demands all of her time, the other one got pregnant and never leaves the house, another one, i fell in love with, is getting back with her ex boyfriend (kill. me.) and i really don't care for any of the other (few) people i make small talk with via facebook and work. ha and it's not like i can go out to clubs and make friends because i can't drive. this feels pretty pathetic but i feel so stuck. :/ anybody have any suggestions?
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Joanhs
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby Joanhs » 29 Dec 2010, 12:23

I know what you are saying.. or maybe not.. I have a lots of friends, but we are all actors in the same place.. That means we see each other a lot, and hterefor it's rare we see eachother outside the theater, or even if there isn't a party involved..
They all also know my boyfriend, so I can't get to getter with the girls, and just moan about what shit he now may have said, and get a good advice, because then I know the gossip will go, and he will end up knowing what I said. Or else, one of the girls can only hear herself talking, so I will end up, trying to get a word out but only hear about her boyfriend.

I also have 2 girls I normally call my best friends, but I'm getting the feeling they don't like me.. They get together aaall the tiiime, without me, and I'm tired of reading "Had a great evening with the lovely Lisa".. and so on.. It makes me jealous, and I only get invited to the things where it's normal to nvite a group of friends..

And from the city I was born in, they don't contact me, didn't even wish me happy birthday, so I don't care much for them either.
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DoctorStrange
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby DoctorStrange » 30 Dec 2010, 16:21

Christopher wrote:I had the best friends this whole year and the last couple months they've all withered away. One moved to germany, one turned into a lesbian and fell in love with a girl who demands all of her time, the other one got pregnant and never leaves the house, another one, i fell in love with, is getting back with her ex boyfriend (kill. me.) and i really don't care for any of the other (few) people i make small talk with via facebook and work. ha and it's not like i can go out to clubs and make friends because i can't drive. this feels pretty pathetic but i feel so stuck. :/ anybody have any suggestions?

I don't mean to pry, but how do you spend your day?
You don't have to go into details but it would help us see where you can match make, haha.
Any other suggestions anyone?
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Lyndsay
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby Lyndsay » 31 Dec 2010, 04:27

That was EXACTLY me literally the day after my senior year of high school ended. My best friend got a new boyfriend (shes not engaged) and literally pretty much dumped me for him and only used me to the point of no end. My other best guy friend started doing drugs in 10th grade and started drinking because all his life he wanted to be popular. Congrats to him ,he's now spent time in prison and a mental facility and is still doing drugs and drinking and now smoking. And all my other friends frrom soccer just kind of fell out of touch. It makes you realize who were your real friends all along. I now know I only have like 5 REALLY good friends that I can count on for anything and I know they aren't just going to disappear off the edge of the earth.

I would just literally start doing what you've always wanted to do. i used to go to movies alone and go to bookstores and just sit and read, etc. I'm much more independent know and I've learned to really appreciate myself. And that way, when you do things that you like, you'll end up meeting new people who like the same thing.
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Christopher
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby Christopher » 31 Dec 2010, 06:10

DoctorStrange wrote:
Christopher wrote:I had the best friends this whole year and the last couple months they've all withered away. One moved to germany, one turned into a lesbian and fell in love with a girl who demands all of her time, the other one got pregnant and never leaves the house, another one, i fell in love with, is getting back with her ex boyfriend (kill. me.) and i really don't care for any of the other (few) people i make small talk with via facebook and work. ha and it's not like i can go out to clubs and make friends because i can't drive. this feels pretty pathetic but i feel so stuck. :/ anybody have any suggestions?

I don't mean to pry, but how do you spend your day?
You don't have to go into details but it would help us see where you can match make, haha.
Any other suggestions anyone?


i don't do much ever. i play around on the computer, work about 3 hours a night. sometimes my dad gives me a ride to the tanning bed. ha. well for the last couple weeks, it's pretty much jus been this.

Lyndsay wrote:That was EXACTLY me literally the day after my senior year of high school ended. My best friend got a new boyfriend (shes not engaged) and literally pretty much dumped me for him and only used me to the point of no end. My other best guy friend started doing drugs in 10th grade and started drinking because all his life he wanted to be popular. Congrats to him ,he's now spent time in prison and a mental facility and is still doing drugs and drinking and now smoking. And all my other friends frrom soccer just kind of fell out of touch. It makes you realize who were your real friends all along. I now know I only have like 5 REALLY good friends that I can count on for anything and I know they aren't just going to disappear off the edge of the earth.

I would just literally start doing what you've always wanted to do. i used to go to movies alone and go to bookstores and just sit and read, etc. I'm much more independent know and I've learned to really appreciate myself. And that way, when you do things that you like, you'll end up meeting new people who like the same thing.


sucks riiight? yeh but there isn't much i like to do alone. pretty much just what i already get to do. :/
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DoctorStrange
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby DoctorStrange » 03 Jan 2011, 18:36

Branching on an idea that Lyndsay has mentioned, going places that suit your interest might help.

For example, if you're interested in Science, History or anything, going to a museum. I latched on to a tour group when I visited the Imperial War museum over here in the UK, and found that someone was interested in the things I liked and we got talking. Small things like this can connect people even though some may be tourists, haha.

If you want a calm place to read a book, try the library, there will be a lot of regulars there as well and you're bound to get talking to someone. This can apply to your interests as well.

I see you got a routine going on as well, you can space things out a little so you can make room for other stuff. I always find keeping a diary highly important to get things organised and what day to do what, etc. And I'm sort of a lazy person so if I write go grocery shopping on the 25th Jan, then I must go or my diary will explode into a million pieces lol

Hope this helps! :)
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Christopher
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby Christopher » 05 Jan 2011, 07:24

DoctorStrange wrote:Branching on an idea that Lyndsay has mentioned, going places that suit your interest might help.

For example, if you're interested in Science, History or anything, going to a museum. I latched on to a tour group when I visited the Imperial War museum over here in the UK, and found that someone was interested in the things I liked and we got talking. Small things like this can connect people even though some may be tourists, haha.

If you want a calm place to read a book, try the library, there will be a lot of regulars there as well and you're bound to get talking to someone. This can apply to your interests as well.

I see you got a routine going on as well, you can space things out a little so you can make room for other stuff. I always find keeping a diary highly important to get things organised and what day to do what, etc. And I'm sort of a lazy person so if I write go grocery shopping on the 25th Jan, then I must go or my diary will explode into a million pieces lol

Hope this helps! :)


haha thank you. will try those. :)
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby Hann » 14 Jan 2011, 05:54

i have the same problem. I have lots of people who I get on with, and if I see them they will always say hi, but if you asked them who their friends are, I doubt anyone would say me. Im not disliked, I just find it hard to hold onto friends. I find, as others have said, join a club you like, you will meet like minded people there. although to some extent, if you are like me, you are probably doomed to this existance forever, its just the type of person you are. a bit of a wallflower. try to tale solice in the fact that you are rarely disliked. you are probably the sort of person who doesnt like to offend or go against the grain and therfore can sometimes be a little bit forgettabl.
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Stewie
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby Stewie » 19 Jan 2011, 21:50

You could try going jogging and to the gym. If you find something to fill your days you'll feel less lonely. Well, it doesn't solve the problem, but it helps you to be less concerned about that. Plus, it's healthy.

Obviously friendship can't be forced, it's something that has to be natural. I'm not saying that one has to do nothing: obviously you gotta be a breezy and willing person, but also you can't stress yourself over the "i need to make new friends" issue, because if you take that to the extreme you may end up spending time with people you don't like (or simply people who are not compatible with you), and this is just as shiteous as being alone! Basically it's important to bear in mind that friendship needs time to build. In the meantime you can join the gym, dance class, language class, clubs, and get acquainted with the other ones. If you already have acquaintances, if they didn't invite you to go out, the next step would be inviting them to go out, at the pub, clubs, the movies.

I know that it's not as easy as I described it, but this is roughly a plan to begin the improvement of a social life... It can be difficult because you're like "out of training" now, but after a while you may become more debonair and get to know easily more people.
watson180
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby watson180 » 04 Apr 2011, 23:18

I have no friends. I don't need anyone on my path. I am well with me alone. Someone wrote this many years ago. Do u like it?
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Re: I have NO friends!!

Postby VivaMGMVE » 05 Apr 2011, 07:13

I know how hurtful loneliness can feel so I'm feeling ya! My best suggestion is head out to a bookstore! Seriously, it seems like people there are really eager to chat people up and most people in my experience have been good to strike up a conversation. I was in the same place as you last year and I had to really make the effort to get out there and be seen...by myself and be open to others. I made some great friends by being a regular at a Borders bookstore (with a cafe inside which helped!).

The other thing that helped me make some connections was that I joined some local community service events. It was super intimidating to go by myself but once I got there everyone was so talkative and I met my new best friend there who was there with a group of his friends! Seriously, go to a trail clean up day, or soup kitchen or whatever peaks your interest and I'm sure you'll make some buddies out of your fellow volunteers!

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